Thank goodness

　　A kid said to his dad, “Dad, my teacher

　　asked me if I had any younger brothers who will be coming to school.” The dad

　　replied, “What did your teacher say when you told him you are the only child?”

　　The kid answered, “He said,‘Thank goodness!’”

　　 Waste or Save?

　　Father: Oh, Jack,

　　you have slept away the whole morning. Don’t you know you are wasting time?

　　Jack: Yes, Dad. But I’ve saved you a meal, haven’t I? One hu ndred percent The

　　patient asked: “What are my chances of recovery?” The doctor said:“

　　 One hundred percent

　　Statistics show that only nine out of ten die of the disease. Now nine

　　of my patients have already died of it. You are the tenth!”

　　 The lowest grade

　　Student: Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don’t think

　　I deserve a zero. Professor: Neither do I. But that’s the lowest grade I’m allowed

　　to give.