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Q

Dear Daniel,

Every time I point out my mom’s mistakes, she says that her mistakes are none of my business because I am a child. What should I tell her? Alan

A

Dear Alan,

I have a lot of questions. First, you say “every time”. This sounds like you criticize her quite often. What kind of mistakes does she make? Are these small mistakes, like under-cooking noodles or mispronouncing words? Are these bigger mistakes, like forgetting to buy groceries (食品杂货)?

In English, we say, “Pick your battles wisely.” It means that sometimes you should just stay silent. I think you need to start picking your battles. If you criticize every little thing, nobody will listen to you about important things.

That said, she shouldn’t ignore you just because of your age. If her mistakes are putting you in danger, she deserves serious criticism (批评). However, your situation doesn’t sound so severe.

So let’s talk about your mom. She has to feed and clothe you. She has to make sure you do well at school. Maybe she also has a job. That’s a lot to worry about! Then you criticize her at home. She probably feels disrespected. I would, too! Remember: This lady used to change your diapers (尿布). Go easy on her.

Finally, everybody makes mistakes. Hopefully we learn from our mistakes.

Here’s something I have learned from my mistakes: Talking fixes many problems. Tell your mom that you will try to pick your battles. Then tell her about a mistake you have made. Ask her for advice. She will probably be glad to help you. Daniel