翻译有时也是改写
本文作者: 21ST
在一篇由市长应邀在某公司展会上所致的欢迎词中,首句是“金秋威海,清风送爽”。请问这句话是否需要翻译,如果需要应该如何翻译?这句话的下文是“在举国上下欢庆六十华诞之际,我们迎来了第二届中国渔具制造业基地(威海)国际博览会”。
——北京 邱丽
语篇可以分为抒情类、信息类和呼唤鼓动类。这三种类型时常交叉,但总以某种为主。我们在动笔翻译前,应首先明确这篇欢迎词大致属于呼唤鼓动类。而呼唤鼓动的方式,往往因文化语境不同而有所差异。所以,这类译文与原文的联系最松,译者掌握较大的灵活度,行文上不必拘泥于原文语句。其次,我们还须对这句话的背景有所了解,以便有的放矢地增补信息。基于上述考虑,我们在翻译时可把“金秋威海,清风送爽”打散后重新组织语言如下:Good morning / afternoon / evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Weihai. Autumn is making everybody in this city feel golden — over its sunny beaches and intoxicating breezes, and, above all, with all of you here today as our distinguished guests, to celebrate the 2nd China Fishing Gear Manufacturing Center Expo.从译文中可以看到,“金色”不再是客体(威海)的属性,而是主体(人)的情感状态;“送爽”的也不再只有清风,还有洒满阳光的海滩和各路宾朋的捧场。这不仅是语句重组,甚至还有些许扩展和发挥。其实不论是重组还是扩展,其中都带有改写的色彩;但从语用角度看,这样的改写仍是翻译,因为其结果不仅没有偏离原文的基本信息,反而更能打动目标受众,强化了整篇欢迎词的礼仪功能和劝诱功能。当然,仅有重组、扩展的意识是不够的,译者还须掌握相关的英语表达法,比如本例中feel golden的说法。
如原文措辞不够简练,翻译时也可用改写的方式进行处理。再举一例:“为整治蠡湖,政府因势利导,优先推进农民变市民、农民由分散的自然村落向统一安置区集中的进程,相应出台了一系列全面实现社会保障、改善农民生活质量的政策措施,赢得了民众对蠡湖建设的广泛支持。”这段话的建议译文如下:To thoroughly renovate the lake, the local government encouraged peasant families, who had used to live in scattered lakeside settlements there, to become city people by moving to new, concentrated residential areas. To secure broadest support for this effort, it launched various policy initiatives such as easier access to social security to ensure the overall quality of their life. Today, the resettled populations are living much more happily in their new environment.
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