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本文作者： 21st

Love means everything in tough

参赛教师:张嘉洁学校:西安远东教育集团第二中学

She danced fairily with his arm while he spinned gently with her leg. What a miracle! While I was in tears, all the audience in Shanghai Theatre stood up clapping for the two dancers on the stage. The scene was not just a show but a moving story for the two handicapped. They bowed for the applause and said in trembled voice: “Love is the only thing that can make impossibilities into possibilities.”

Moved in tears, I was so curious about the magical power between them and I even wonder if their love is different from our definition, otherwise, they cannot create the miracle. When we keep complaining our so called tough life, the two handicapped have already begun their new life in a tougher situation even beyond our imagination. The girl lost her left arm in an accident, which ruined her life as a dancer. The boy who lost his leg played an important role in the handicapped sports meeting and hopefully became a competitor in the Olympics someday. To fulfill the dream of the girl, the boy began to study dancing under the instruction of the girl. Imaging how tough he could support the girl from under with only one leg. Factually, they did want to give up the dancing which was even difficult for us healthy men, but it was love for each other that kept them going till succeed.

It is obvious that the definition of their love is not that simple as ours. Each letter means a word to them that combines the vocabulary “love” to become everything in their life.

L means luciferous mood which brighten their gloomy life in the past. Being the handicapped, they were so upset and self-contemptuous to do anything till they were called disabled which means they were not able to do everything as the healthy. They began to realize they should do something to show that they are not “disabled” but just “handicapped”. Only when they have a positive attitude to life, can they live optimistically. Even though the practice is difficult, their smile is the sweet candy for each other.

O means organized to them. There is no doubt that the dancing is a tough work which needs skill, patience and persistence. Owning the experience in dancing, the girl designed all the splendid postures for them, but to her disappointment, the boy could not achieve the standard at the beginning due to the lack of experience. Having observed the features of the boy, the careful girl reorganized their practice schedule and only under the reasonable organization and persistence can they achieve the wonderful dream.

V means valuable life to them. Although being a handicapped, they never looked down upon themselves. They always believed that whatever the life gives to them is the precious gift for them to value. They valued the left arm and leg and made them into full use, what’s more, they valued the praise every friend gave to them that made them always be happy in life.

E means encouragement from all the people. Even though they are unlucky that they lost the important thing, they are lucky at the same time because they gain the encouragement more than us. When the life is tough, they were always encouraged to carry on to become excellent today.

They performed their miracle in life although life is tough to them. Now that love can give them strength, it can certainly bring us out of the predicament if our life is much easier than them. As long as we bear it in mind, everything can be defeated.

Love means everything in tough.

点评专家:北京外国语大学徐克容教授

本文运用了定义的方法，明确地表达了作者的观点。通篇语言比较流畅、用词比较准确、简单与复杂句子的使用比较平衡。

在语言方面，作者应注意正确运用句子结构和词汇。如:第二段中的“Imaging”(Imaging how tough...)应以“Imagine”开头，最后一句的“till succeed”应为“till success”,倒数第二段中的“them” (...is much easier than them) 应改为“theirs”。语言上的错误会影响句子结构所要表达的意义。

另外，作者还要注意避免使用run-on sentences（流水句）。如，以字母V开头的一段有这样一句:They valued the left arm and leg and made them into full use, what’s more, they valued the praise...,其中的what’s more前面应用句号，而不是逗号。

Never too late to learn

参赛教师:徐君琳学校:北京市大兴区第四中学

“Ordinary people merely think how they shall spend their time; a man of talent tries to use it.” If we concentrate on our learning we will catch the time in our lives.

Most of us may say that “I don’t have time to study.” “I have to take care of my baby and my parents.” “I have to prepare my lessons in order to have a wonderful class.” “I have to do lots of housework and cook for my family.” Because of the busy life we may have little time to keep going. But to choose time is to save time. Everyone has 24 hours a day, why some people are successful and the others are common? The most important thing is how to use your time.

Firstly, we can say goodbye to TV and computer games and make a plan for learning then depart your time into several parts. For instance, 6:00-7:00 Reading English; 10:00-10:20 Wrinting a short passage. And for more you have to write your scheme down and stick it on an obvious place that you can see it every day, that can help you to obey your plan. And then do what you write on the sheet. When you do this above, you will find that you have a lot of time and you can do what you want to do. Reading books is a good choice. The more you study, the most you will know what you don’t know. Thus you will be interested in learning day by day.

Secondly, most of us are married, maybe you have a baby, you can spare some time with your baby. You will find that not all the knowledge for your baby you can know. I found that I don’t know all the names of the fruit on my baby’s book. Every time I find a new word I will look it up in the dictionary and take notes and then try to remember it. My daughter likes to learn with me though she is only one and a half years old. So when we study with our babies we can effect them. They will love studying and have a good habit for learning. Your baby will think that you care about her/him. And you will learn something new. I felt the same way. This summer I take part in a course. When I am reading, my daughter will come to me and point to the book and say something just like “xuexi” the Chinese meaning of learning, I was so excited, that must have good effects to her.

Thirdly, there are millions of students who graduated from the university every year. They are the competitors to us who work at the schools. Most of them are post-graduate students. If we don’t study hard we will be knocked out someday. Of course we teachers are very busy and hard-working. But time is changed, the students love the teachers who can understand them. That means we should never stop learning. Learning new method of teaching, learning new technology of teaching, and learning the new usage and new skills of English. In that way we can be a good teacher, we always have time enough, if we will but use it alright. We can buy some books about how to teach and how to teach well. We also can surf the Internet, search some useful information, and learn some new processes of teaching. We have the summer holiday and winter holiday, so lucky. These three months we can take a lesson and learn something useful for us. Let your parents help you to look after your bady in the daytime. Try your best and may you succeed.

Time and tide wait for no man. From now on value your time.

点评专家:北京外国语大学徐克容教授

本文最大的优点是内容充实，每个论点都用生活中的诸多事实来佐证，使议论颇具说服力。首先，文章结构完整、层次清楚、有较得体的开头和简练的结尾。其次，主体部分提出了三个论点，并用恰当的转换词衔接，逐个分析说明，有相当的说服力。再次，文章的语言平实，所用词语都是英语中使用频率高、表达能力强的词汇，其中不乏生动的习语，如“say goodbye to TV and computer games” 和“we will be knocked out someday”等。

文章的不足之处是主题与其三个论点以及论证各个论点的事例之间缺乏统一性，三个论点也都缺少各自的段落主题句。语言使用方面也有些不足之处，如拼写错误、不规范的动词与宾语搭配等。例如，“effect”作动词时意思是“make something happen”，此处“effect them”可以改成“this can have a positive effect on our children”;“But to choose time is to save time.”也应改成“Spend your time efficiently is saving time.”

What to do to tap into one抯 strengths to get through tough times

参赛教师:朱美娜学校:辽宁省本溪市第二高级中学

It is known to all that everyone will be faced with success and failure. When times are tough, what can we do to help tap into our strengths and keep going? This question is well worth considering.

To begin with, we must keep cool and have confidence in ourselves. Everyone will experience tough times and failure. But different people have different attitudes towards them. Some people lower their heads in face of them, but others choose to face them bravely. Of course, the former can’t get through tough times and the latter will get rid of them quickly. I believe that everyone wants to be a victor in his life. So when times are tough, please remember: keep cool and believe in yourself and you will succeed.

Then, we must find what our strengths are. Strength refers to personal capability, that is, the advantages or abilities that you have over others. As the saying goes “Every man has his gift.” Only if we know what our own strengths are and tap into our strengths appropriately, can we succeed. So finding what our strengths are is necessary and important.

Third, we must know what we can do to help tap into our strengths. Many people’s experiences tell us that success often favors those who can find their strengths and tap into their strengths. There are similarities and differences between people and people. Everyone has his own different features; those are what we call advantages. No matter what we do, finding and tapping into our strengths are important. This not only can help us get rid of tough times, but also can help us achieve success.

Take a famous comic star Zhao Benshan for example. When he was a farmer, his life was very hard and many people didn’t believe he would have good prospect. Even some people said he could only talk glibly and looked down upon him. However, it is “talk glibly” that is Zhao Benshan’s strength. Not only does Zhao find his strength, but also makes full use of it. So after his continuous efforts, he achieves great success and becomes very rich now. His road of success is worthy of being considered carefully by everyone of us. All of us want to succeed, especially when times are tough. But the way to success is different. Usually, the people who achieve success are not because they have various abilities, but because they find their own strengths, and tap into their strengths. This is their secret of success. Only if we are good at tapping into our strengths, can we make our life valuable. Otherwise, if we always compete with others with our weaknesses, we can only fail and make our life valueless.

To sum up, life is a serious competition. Tough times are not terrible. What’s terrible is that one can not find the correct way to get through it. When we are in tough times, we had better keep cool, have confidence in ourselves and make the best of our strengths to keep life going.

点评专家:北京外国语大学徐克容教授

本文结构完整，有起始段和中心段，虽没有独立的结尾段，但最后的第四段从“All of us want to succeed...”开始至结尾的部分即可视为结尾段。另外，本文观点明确、条理清楚、述说紧扣命题、思路清晰。第一段中，作者指出发挥自己长处来度过困难时期的重要性。接着，作者提出三点建议。第一，对自己要有信心，敢于面对困难;第二，要找出自己的长处;第三个建议是全文的核心，作者用赵本山的成名过程，说明他如何发挥自己的长处，由一个农民成长为著名笑星。文章的语言通顺、流畅，句子结构平稳。

此文的不足之处有:一是前两个建议与第三建议，无论是在篇幅的大小和论证的深度都不够平衡。如果作者给前者增加论据（如实例），并删去第三个建议中与主题无关的句子，（如:There are similarities and differences between people and people. Everyone has his own different features; those are what we call advantages.）前者会更令人信服，后者的行文会更干净、利落。

此外，在英语表达方面作者也有需要提高之处。（1）有些说法不是地道的英语。如第二段有一句“Some people lower their heads in face of them...”。“Lower their heads”明显是直接从汉语“低下了头”翻译而成。此处可用“give up (trying)”或“lose their heads”;（2）注意动宾搭配，如第四段中的“get rid of tough times”，此处应用“get (someone) through”或“tide (someone) over”或“live through”等;（3）注意副词在句中的位置，副词修饰动词时要置于动词前，而不能置于句首。如:“Even some people said...”一句应改成“Some people even said.../Some people have even said...”。